Last night, talking about meeting a friend in NYC this weekend:
Me: It shouldn't be too bad if we just take the Metro. [Pause] Sorry, I meant subway. I'm thinking D.C.
Him: I was gonna say—if you're thinking "Metro," you're thinking D.C. or Paris.
Me: Or Montreal.
Him: Or Berlin.
Me: Really? That one I didn't know.
Him: [Pause] Or I could just be thinking of the Berlin song "Metro." Actually, yeah, that's it.
Me: [Collapsing on the bed in laughter that doesn't subside for half an hour.]
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Why I Love My Boyfriend, #49087
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Boobies!
If you know me at all, you know why I'm posting this. Thanks to D-Mac for the link!
Are big breasts always beautiful? - Times Online
Monday, July 28, 2008
Why is it...
...that El Paso and El Pasoans always look bad in the news?
Man deposits millions, one tattered bill at a time, The Associated Press, via CNN
Anger/Unemployment
I was unemployed for five months, almost to the day. This is after three and a half months of unemployment from earlier in the year. It sucked. It was frustrating, if not downright discouraging.
But never—not once—did I feel compelled to do anything like this.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The Thought Occurs...
...I just put the link to this blog in my bio for my MFA program, and I haven't updated the damn thing since March. I'll try to do better about this, but in the meanwhile, a few updates on my life after the jump.
And... I can't think of anything else to write about. Which is sad, seeing as it's been about four months since last I updated. Next post will be more interesting. I swear.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
You Must Be Joking
Job Hunting. Again. Just spoke with someone at a staffing agency who suggested I take an aptitude test. My results after the jump. Your Career Suggestions Careers that suit your answers are listed below under Interest Rank. The best matches are at the top of the list. Click on a career to learn more about it and how it suits your answers. Your matching Career Clusters are also listed below. Interest Rank 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40.
Career Suggestions for Jilletante
Friday, October 5, 2007
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You
Walking back to work from lunch today, I happened to notice a guy stopped at a red light, windows down, with John Lennon's "Instant Karma" blaring over his stereo. As the light turned green, several pedestrians began to cross the intersection, thereby keeping the car in front of this [I thought] peace-loving gentleman from turning right. So what did this gentleman do? Surely, he waited patiently, embodying the lessons of Lennon, right?
No.
In a very Philly way, he honked his horn, then leaned out his window, yelled "Fuck all of youse" at the car in front of him and the pedestrians beyond.
To quote the late, great former Beatle's song: "Who in the hell d'you think you are?"
I hope instant karma gets him. Soon.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Disgusting
U.S. Rule Limits Emergency Care for Immigrants, New York Times, September 22, 2007
Whatever happened to "First, do no harm"?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
On Really Romantic Evenings of Self, I Go Salsa Dancing with My Confusion
I've lucid dreamed ever since I was a kid, but I was never aware that it was called that until my freshman year at Penn, when I saw Waking Life for a class I took. It instantly put me into an existential crisis (Am I dreaming or am I just dead?) that I quickly got over when someone told me that, while you could probably control actions in your lucid dreams, you couldn't control physical sensation, and then proceeded to pinch me. Hard.
Anyway, five years later (which makes it six years since the movie came out), it seems that people are finally becoming aware of lucid dreaming.
This is where I insert a variation on what I find I'll often say about bands: "Dude! I was having lucid dreams ages ago, way before it got popular!"
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
A Package, Finally
Dear Town Shop:
In the grand scheme of things, $200 isn't a lot of money. However, $200 is a lot to spend on two bras. Because the Good Lord "blessed" me with the inability to buy 'em at Victoria's Secret, I have to make the occasional pilgrimage to the Upper West Side of Manhattan and buy for eighty or ninety bucks what someone smaller than me can easily buy for twenty.
On July 11, I spent nearly two hours trying on bras at your establishment, with the assistance of three very aggressive women who spent a good deal of time poking my breasts and asking them (not me) why they were lopsided, then yelling down the hall that they needed a different size because yet another bra didn't fit me. Needless to say, this was a fun experience.
Finally, finally, I found three bras that worked. Well, I found one bra that worked. And two bras that would work after the back and/or straps were taken up by the able seamstresses employed at the store. Someone asked me if I could come pick them up the next weekend. "No," I replied, "I live in Philadelphia."
"No problem, we'll mail them to you, free of charge."
I walked to the register and paid: $250 for three bras and a pair of panties that matched the only one I was able to take home that day. I filled out an address card and the gentleman behind the counter said that they'd be mailing me the bras the following week. I left $200 worth of merchandise behind me and headed out to meet my boyfriend, who'd been patiently(-ish) waiting for me at the bookstore across the street.
Ten days later and still braless, I called you and was informed that my bras had been shipped on July 17, so I'd have them any day.
I waited. And I waited some more. And finally, yesterday, thirty days after the initial purchase, my bras arrived. You'd sent them in a lightly-padded envelope via regular first-class mail: no insurance, no tracking number, no delivery confirmation. Two hundred bucks and two hours of my life that you really didn't seem to care about getting to me.
I think I need to find a bra store in Philadelphia...
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